What the Super Bowl means to me…

What does the Super Bowl mean to me?

Not much, really.

My team isn’t in the game. I don’t give a rat’s patootie about deflated balls because I’m a cynic at heart and figure the whole thing is always and probably always will be just a on the positive side of crooked. That being said… go Seahawks. Yep, that’s how I’ll do it.

Katy Perry is the halftime show. I think there is exactly one Katy Perry song I like, which I liked on the radio and then I made the mistake of watching the video for it and she had fireworks on her boobs. Yep. But Lenny Kravitz is a special guest. How come Lenny Kravitz couldn’t just be the halftime show? I hear football fans are trending more toward women like me rather than men. Maybe this explains it. Of course, Katy Perry is a teen, twentysomething type and Lenny Kravitz has a sex appeal you’d have to be blind not to see.

The other thing about the Super Bowl are the ads. Everybody gets themselves in a tizzy over the ads. That’s all well and good when the ads air during, you know, the game. But this year half the ads seemed to be online, and causing carefully staged controversy (I’m looking at you, GoDaddy, because that was just tacky … but all your ads are so…), so I don’t really get the point of that anymore.

Mostly what the Super Bowl means to me is that we’re just a little bit closer to spring and sunshine and warmth.

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So Beyonce lip-synched the Star-Spangled Banner…

…and she admitted it!

The shock! The horror!

Oh wait, everyone already knew that.

To catch you up, in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last two weeks or so, Beyonce “performed” the Star-Spangled Banner at Barack Obama’s inauguration. I say “performed” because it quickly came out (straight from named sources in the Marine Corps Band) that she did not perform live.

The weather seemed like the most legitimate excuse. The least legitimate that she was too busy preparing for her Super Bowl performance to practice with the Marine Corps Band and, more importantly, be able to sing live without screwing it up.

I get the fear of screwing up the National Anthem. Lots of stars have done it and have yet to completely live it down.

What I don’t get is this: if the Super Bowl halftime show had anything to do with why Beyonce couldn’t perform live, why did she agree to sing at the inauguration? Wouldn’t it have been more respectful to politely decline, saying that she couldn’t give her best to such an august occasion?

I say yes.

Consider, if you will, Kelly Clarkson’s rendition of My Country ‘Tis of Thee at the same inauguration; she practiced for almost a week with the Marine Corps Band, figured out the best way to sing the complicated song, and sang it live.

It’s too bad Kelly Clarkson didn’t sing both songs, or the National Anthem, or they didn’t have someone who cared enough to sing it live.

In full disclosure, I’m not a Beyonce fan. I think it was tacky that she sang (not well, in my humble opinion) the Star-Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl press conference and offered a laundry list of excuses as to why she lip-synched. Friend of the Obamas or not, she should have done things differently on January 21 … or not done them at all.