I watched it for a few important reasons:
- Robert Pattinson eye candy
- I was bored
- I had a free rental voucher for Redbox
I watched Cosmopolis with my sister. We did a few things while we watched:
- Gaped openly at the screen as we tried to keep a tally of how many times Eric Packer had sex
- Giggled when he kept repeating that his prostate was asymmetrical and his deadpan delivery of “I don’t know what that means”
- Reminded each other that the movie was free, it didn’t hurt to sit through all of it (not really)
- Wondered aloud why the barber didn’t wipe the pie out of his hair
- Snickered about Paul Giammatti’s barefoot, towel-covered hobbit-like appearance (we didn’t understand a darn thing he said)
When it was over, we had the following discussion (in a nutshell):
- ME: He kept talking about “The Complex,” but they didn’t say what it was, did they?
- HER: Who knows? His prostate was more important.
- ME: Look up asymmetrical prostate on your phone and find out what it means.
- HER: No.
- *crickets chirpped*
- HER: That bodyguard women he had sex with (not in the limo!) sure had big nipples.
- ME: Yeah. Did we just watch porn?
- HER: Probably. But Robert Pattinson was sexy. Sometimes.
- ME: Yep. And it was free.
- HER: Always a good thing.