So I watched Cosmopolis…

I watched it for a few important reasons:

  1. Robert Pattinson eye candy
  2. I was bored
  3. I had a free rental voucher for Redbox

I watched Cosmopolis with my sister. We did a few things while we watched:

  1. Gaped openly at the screen as we tried to keep a tally of how many times Eric Packer had sex
  2. Giggled when he kept repeating that his prostate was asymmetrical and his deadpan delivery of “I don’t know what that means”
  3. Reminded each other that the movie was free, it didn’t hurt to sit through all of it (not really)
  4. Wondered aloud why the barber didn’t wipe the pie out of his hair
  5. Snickered about Paul Giammatti’s barefoot, towel-covered hobbit-like appearance (we didn’t understand a darn thing he said)

When it was over, we had the following discussion (in a nutshell):

  • ME: He kept talking about “The Complex,” but they didn’t say what it was, did they?
  • HER: Who knows? His prostate was more important.
  • ME: Look up asymmetrical prostate on your phone and find out what it means.
  • HER: No.
  • *crickets chirpped*
  • HER: That bodyguard women he had sex with (not in the limo!) sure had big nipples.
  • ME: Yeah. Did we just watch porn?
  • HER: Probably. But Robert Pattinson was sexy. Sometimes.
  • ME: Yep. And it was free.
  • HER: Always a good thing.

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